From rheabecc: "Once you are tagged you MUST write an entry about 6 weird habits/things you do/odd information, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next six people to be tagged and list their names."

1. I beat Captain Hook at strip poker. It was not a pretty sight. I tossed him to the crocodiles.
2. My peg leg also serves as my captain's log. I have to get a new one whenever it's full, which is really annoying, but the ladies think it's sexy.
3. Those tulips were a good deal. They served to conceal the shipment of jewels that we had to smuggle from Amsterdaam. (Government inspectors have no sense of humor.)
4. I like to pour coffee in my rum. For that matter, I also like chocolate chip cookies with my rum.
5. The R in my name (Kiefer R. Unch) stands for Rogerium, my Grandpappy's name.
6. We really didn't know that the kid was still asleep inside that rolled carpet before we delivered it to Delphina the Mad. Really.

Tagging: ballistabob, akgnome, pirategirleee, greta_k, laughing_fox, geoffreyapclwyd.

Monsieur le Capitaine:

Would you be so kind as to explain the invoice describing the purchase of a several crates of tulips in Antwerp, and entered into our accounts as "ship's supplies"? Her Excellency, Baroness Greta, tells us that the Angry Seabass was a sight to be held before departure from port, all decorated with the wretched plants. And 25 gold florins in flowers?

His Excellency and I hope that you have a good explanation for this.

A puzzled,

Belphoebe

Captain Kiefer:

I have some reservations regarding the recipe you supplied to me for "Tulip Souffle". While it may be an "ancient family recipe", and I wouldn't dream of insulting your mother's memory by calling her cooking skills into question, I cannot in good faith serve this to the crew! And your alternate recipe for "Braised Tulips with Minced Herring" is also a non-starter, I'm afraid (although we could probably do something with the herring part). I do hope that you will allow me some small monies from the ship's coffers in order to lay in proper supplies.

Cray Kell, The Cook

Captain Kiefer:

I must reiterate - tulips are not considered payment for services rendered. The crew is quite put out at the moment, and if the situation is not remedied quickly, they are threatening you with an "Antwerp Enema". Just thought you should know.

Samael Knapp, First Mate

Kiefer,

I am most taken with your ardent displays of affection, but I must confess some misgivings. Carving my name into your wooden leg is indeed a worthy sentiment, but even such as I can see numerous places upon your appendage that have been hastily sanded down and covered with varying shades of paint. What is a girl to think in the face of such as this? I eagerly await your return so that you may most certainly lay to rest my fears.

Michelle
Calais
6 April 1569

My Dearest Captain Kiefer:

While I do appreciate your most generous gift of 200 dozen slightly used tulips and four cases of dried herring, I would please ask you not to leave them on my doorstep to find as I return home. The neighbors do tend to complain of the smell, and the effect on traffic is disruptive at best. As I mentioned at our parting, I find myself unable to return your most ardent protestations of affection, and would ask that you seek your heart's ease elsewhere.

Yours in Exasperation,

Elisabet
Antwerp
2 April 1569